I Hate Spaghetti

Jasper Austin

My image is inspired by a memory of the trauma I experienced as a child. Specifically one event that sticks out in my mind the most. The idea that fits best with my chosen theme is “A childhood memory that has shaped who you are today”. When I was a child, (approximately ages 3-5) my mother and I lived with her boyfriend at the time, who was highly abusive; mentally and verbally. The specific event that this piece is based was the one and only time that I have ever been ‘grounded’. 

I used to be put in ‘time out’ or get in trouble for extremely little things or for no reason. I still do not know why I was ‘grounded’ that day. But what I do remember is feeling alone and abandoned. I was told by my abuser to “stay in my room” and that I “was not allowed to play, move, or make any sound at all while I was grounded” which lasted the entire day. I remember being terrified and not knowing why I was in trouble at all. At dinner time my mother brought me some spaghetti on a plate and set me up with a cardboard box as a table as I did not have one in my room. I remember crying so hard to the point where I couldn’t eat. But once I had calmed down a bit I tried to eat the, cold spaghetti. However I do not remember having any utensils, so I tried to eat it with my hands as I was afraid of getting in trouble for not eating. I ended up struggling to eat through my tears and making somewhat of a mess on my hands and the box-table. To this day I still refuse to eat spaghetti. I wanted to convey the idea of a distant memory by making everything blurry, as if your eyes were unfocused or squinting.

Medium: Mixed Media

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